Come on in and have some tea with a new friend, Irma Morton. As you can see, I’ve found my pretty teapot so we can relax together and talk.
I’ve invited Irma over because she has some wisdom and helpful advice to share with us and you all know that I am all about gleaning wisdom from other wise women! So, let’s have some fun “girl” time! Here’s Irma.
Being a wife is very simple: love your husband, enjoy your marriage, and love your family.
Every marriage is unique, every family is unique. Don’t ever make the comparison between your marriage and others.
Don’t let your past experiences dictate your future. Make a decision and commitment that you are going to have a loving home, a welcoming home, and that you are going to get tough, when trouble comes.
A wife has many responsibilities and commitments. You start by taking care of the home: cleaning, cooking, etc. Take care of your spouse. Men are very receptive to a woman who is taking care of his needs: love him, cook for him, take care of him, and make him feel like he is the king of his castle (because you are his queen).
If you have children, nurture, love and care for them. You and your spouse should decide how they will be cared for while you are working outside the home (should you agree to that). Work together as a team.
When my husband and I first got married, we still had the mentality of two single people living together. No discussion was made about what to do with our child while I worked outside the home. It was very frustrating to say the least. I often felt resentful toward him because I was left to carry the responsibility of obtaining daycare. The problem got worse when I took a job out of town. My child had to be put in a daycare for extended hours.
Fast forward 18 years later to the arrival of child number two. Fortunately, as parents we are now in tuned to each others needs and that of our child. This time we are doing it right. I suddenly became a stay-at-home-mom although my desire has always been to work outside the home.
I had to learn the art of homemaking without losing myself to it. My children think I’m a much better person for it. Remember, you are a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter and friend! You don’t lose that because you are a wife.
“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established, by knowledge the rooms are filled.” Proverbs 24:3-4 (ESV)
Having a great marriage takes time, energy and patience. It is possible to have a great marriage. My husband and I have been married for over 30 years and we are still very much in love. Two became one but not overnight. The most successful marriages consist of communication and respect for each other. Talk about your hopes, your dreams, your fears and your desires. Understanding each other takes time (it increases with the years).
Often, we enter marriage with preconceived ideas of what a marriage should look like. Decide what kind of marriage you desire. Seek out other married women that you admire and ask for advice. It’s good to get advice from those you admire and respect. Remember, a single, never married woman cannot give you counsel on marriage – she does not have that perspective.
Be careful how you live. There are so many distractions outside of the home screaming for your attention. Making the choice to take care of your family should be your first priority, this doesn’t mean you have to give up the things you love it just means they take a different place. When you invest in your family, you are making an investment for a lifetime –there’s a great reward that comes with it!
Irma Morton has a great deal of knowledge and experience as a wife married to the same man for over 32 years. She has two children ages 31 and 13 (eighteen years apart). She has counseled many newly—married, married, divorced and single women giving advice on marriage and family life issues.
She has been published on Womensavemoney.com and writes a quarterly newsletter to her friends and family expounding the word of God, called The Good News Gazette. She shares her wisdom giving slices of advice on every day married life and how to navigate issues that may arise. She coined the popular phrase “The 20 minute rule.” When someone has been away from home for hours greet them and then give them 20 minutes to unwind. It has saved many marriages and relationships.