Our daughter is cleaning the garage in preparation for a big garage sale this weekend and (surprise!) she found boxes and boxes of books in there! Who knew?
I said I was motivated to get rid of stuff in that crammed-full garage but…books? (Sigh).
As I perused the books, I rediscovered a great one about living together versus marrying. Since this blog is aimed, primarily, at women who believe in God’s plan for marriage, you may wonder why I am sharing this here.
Modern culture proclaims loudly that it doesn’t matter if we get married as long as we love each other.
Christian women know that scripture teaches commitment and vows before God but sometimes we wonder a little bit…don’t we? We doubt that marriage really makes all that much difference especially when we see “happily committed” live-in couples while our marriage is slogging along.
The facts have long been in, however, and multiple long-term studies find gynormous differences between married couples and live-in couples.
This comes from The Ring Makes All the Difference by Glenn T. Stanton (published by Moody).
First of all, over half of all co-habiting couples do not decide to move in together, they “slide” into it. In other words, co-habiters tend to have a “relational inertia”; they do what comes easily, not what is best! If they marry later on, it is often for the same reason; it’s harder to break up and start over than to just get a marriage license.
This has a profound impact on their relationship. People are more likely to put effort into something they decide to do rather than just fall into (and, ladies, this especially holds true for men. Men are hard-wired to be decisive! When they slide into something they don’t value it). Marriage has to be a deliberate and planned choice.
I’m going to quote directly now because this is important;
“Most couples, married or not, expect sexual faithfulness for themselves and their partner…numerous studies consistently show that cohabiters have much higher levels of sexual infidelity than married couples.
The highly reputable National Sex Survey found…that live-in boyfriends are nearly four times more likely than husbands to cheat in the past year. And, while women are generally more faithful, cohabiting women are eight times more likely than wives to cheat.
It seems that if you want to give someone the experience of sexual opportunism with other partners, cohabitation is what you are looking for, but if a faithful partner is your desire, than cohabitation is not your thing.
Marriage is giving our all to another and stepping up and proclaiming it to the community of people around us. And that commitment makes us different kinds of people, different partners, different parents. It says we are clearly for another, or at least that’s what the others around us-those who witnessed our exchange of vows-expect of us.
Marriage demands something of us. And this expectation makes us act differently.
Marriage is definitive. Marriage is absolute. Marriage leads us into new worlds-and it closes off others.
This is the virtue of marriage…marriage is so much more than we think it is.”
Dear woman, stay married! Pray for strength in the hard times and the vision to see that what you are living out is important! Your marriage profoundly affects and influences, not only the lives of your family, but the community of people who see you every day.
You are living out a visible representation of God’s truth when you live as a married woman with your husband!
Be blessed today.